Category Archives: Joke

Some good Jokes

Here are some good Jokes, I suspect most of us have seen a similar list before, there were some new ones on here. #11 had me rolling on the floor. Hope you enjoy them.

science_jokes

Green Religion

This is a German TV show, so you have to read the subtitles…but listen anyway, omg funny. SNL was funny like this once, when it was free to make fun of the government.



This is comedy, of course, but I think they’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. The truth is hilarious, where it isn’t a terrible shame. The important point is that it is only money. What is a few billion here, a trillion there. Who really cares? Well, if you actually, seriously, cared about the environment, then you would be upset.

What you really hate is that the cheapest forms of energy are used by most people in the world. The cheaper the power, the more toxins it puts into the atmosphere. The answer isn’t building more and more expensive forms of energy, but instead, make better and cheaper energy. Coal is cheaper than firewood – if properly distributed and burned in modern plants. We could distribute coal power to Africa and solve a great deal of their health issues in less than a decade. It would also move to solving their farming issues. With actual redistribution of real wealth (food, shelter, health, energy) many of their government problems would go away.  Not all, but that is a different subject.

China’s problem is mostly charcoal, but also cheap oil and bad coal. They need to move to more expensive power, but 50% of their population is still deep in poverty with better food, health care, and shelter, but real energy issues. They use wood/charcoal in their apartments and the coal/oil they burn is 1950’s technology. Moving up from coal will require cheap alternatives that won’t bancrupt the country. Solar won’t do it. (though they’ve tried.) Nuclear is good, but hard to build cheap without safety risks. Natural Gas is a good interim, but they don’t seem to have the reserves. 

Not that it matters what I say (or anyone says) about China. Five guys in black suits will continue making all the decisions about that country – which has the largest population in the world – despite what anyone else wants or thinks. Instead worry about making innexpensive and efficient power supplies available to the world, and hope that all countries use them. Instead, the US is competing with Germany in the Race to the Top. Lets build the most expensive windmill in the world! That will make us the holy church of the Green Religion. what a laugh

Stories from the Reactor

There are a lot of pictures here, so if your browser doesn’t put them up right off, hit MORE or the Title and get the rest.

So, I’d like to say that playing with a 1-MW reactor is in general about as exciting as watching grass grow. Yeah, if you have an experiment running it can be a blast. (But mostly, about as exciting as mowing your grass)
 

Freefall



Raleigh Public Record

Example: I put stuff in tube, I attach air hose to tube, I blow things to center of reactor, I do it again because I missed. Third time is charmed. I wait 24 hours for objects to get appropriate number of neutrons. I blow air in tube and carefully remove objects which are now quite warm. (and emitting radiation.) I stick said object into a detector for 30 minutes for a good count. I write notes on paper. When all 20 samples are finished. I shout “yea!” and go buy a pizza with my fabulous Grad student check. (986 dollars a month, every month.)

Here is a shot of someone doing this in 1950… identical process.
Researcher testing radioactivity level of sample with a geiger counter, 1950s?
Researcher Testing Sample

A picture of the 1-Mwatt reactor in action…

The PULSTAR reactor at NCSU
NCSU

So, the only real difficulty in keeping the grad student lifestyle is that the “powers that be” want you to keep taking (and passing) their classes. They think this is fun, as they endeavor to put thousands of roadblocks between you and actually accomplishing this. They think it builds character….well… I’m a character all right.

SO – and finally into the actual story here – one of their little roadblocks was installing a French 201 class in our study room. There are only two classrooms in the bloody nuclear engineering building, so we tended to study in the one not being used. Clearly this violates some principle the teachers had discovered, so they loaned out the room we used on Wednesday nights to try to figure out Nuclear Thermodynamics. (Hell, served by Dr. Doster.)

Since our classroom/study hall is currently being used by a bunch of droning undergraduates, we graduate students are lounged around the staircase bitching about everything. Some poor undergraduate wades through us, just as the red-spinning light comes on above the door to the reactor control room.

“Gahh!” he says, startled “what does that mean?”
“Meh,” we say, all old hands here, “the reactor is critical.”

The young boy sprints down the hallway shouting “the reactor is critical! the reactor is critical!”

I’m relatively sure that the French instructor wasn’t worried and was just shutting her door against this sudden wash of noise, but her students saw the teacher ‘hurriedly’ get up from her desk and cross to the door.

The room emptied immediately.

Realizing the great injustice, misunderstanding, and humiliation occurring here, we nuclear engineering  grad students rushed to help… well hell, here are the stairs, I bet we belong in our offices now. Yeah, we were NEVER near there, EVAH.

And to the best of my knowledge, there was never a French class in that building ever again.

Friday Funnies

Ok, I normally don’t get conned into doing a Friday Funnies routine, but here are some additions I can’t avoid.

Robot Identifies Human Flesh as Bacon

I’ve long been told that humans are just “long pig.” So… don’t stand too close to hungry robots, they might not be able to tell the difference. Pretty soon you’ll be ordering “tasting robots” on amazon…

Speaking of food, this was brought to my attention by Dr. DNA. How did our budding Aquatic Scientist (Rachel) miss this? Oh, the humanity. A peanut butter Jelly fish. The worst part is that they invented the word peanutbutterification to describe the process. Seriously? At least it is not like it is printed in an academic journal. oh, wait, nevermind.

And just to finish things out. It turns out that you can order spiders delivered by mail. My christmas shopping is practically done already.


Just remember, you can feed him bacon…